Buryball, Chapter 2: Morris is a Dancer

“Buryball? Eh?” Confused? Read Chapter 0 for a short precis.

Chapter 1 is here.

After three hours’ ceaseless searching, the quest for a Director of Football ended in the form of Mark Wright. Yes, the former Liverpool centre back from my childhood in the 90s who seemed to have perfected the art of putting through his own net. Thankfully, he’s not terrible in his new position, so he should be of some use. His appointment has not shifted the bookies’ pre-season odds – 1885 Bury are predicted to come 22nd… out of 22. Whilst having to knit together 29 extremely youthful individuals into something resembling a squad probably has something to do with it, 175-1 does seem a bit long.

I also agreed to pay out high collective bonuses to the team in order to further incentivise progress in both league and cup competition. Doing so doesn’t contravene any of the five tenets of Buryball, especially as the differences are so small.

It then came time to choose my captain and vice for the campaign. I’m sure you’ll agree that the names of the players augur well…

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Games in the National League come thick and fast; August alone contains seven, starting off with…

(1885 Bury score first):

Brackley Town (a) – 1-0

An encouraging start down in Northamptonshire. Local lad Denilson Carvalho capped off a fine performance on his debut by grabbing the decisive goal, making the most of some slack marking to rifle home from a Simeon Oure corner. 61% possession on the road is a great platform to build on as well, and it’s likely to be a style that will frustrate the opposition on good days, and the Shakers faithful on bad ones.

Blyth Spartans (h) – 0-0

Ah, Blyth Spartans – a name that still makes fans of a certain age shudder. The visitors’ tactic was the archetypal one for the sixth tier – put 10 men behind the ball and lump it long to the target man. It worked a treat, nullifying the Shakers’ attacking threats. Not a single clear-cut chance was created by either side, but Blyth could’ve won it at the death – a free header at the far post hit the side netting…

Gateshead (a) – 1-0

Another side that know all about financial problems, and also boasting a sprightly central defensive partnership of Mike Williamson and one-time Bury player Michael Nelson at a combined age of 74. James Morris latched onto the latter’s dawdling to strike in the sixth minute somewhat against the general run of play in the first half. The keep-ball in the second period was beginning to sway things back in my favour, although a slew of opportunities came and went to increase the lead.

Curzon Ashton (h) – 2-0

Possibly the closest thing to a derby in the National League North, local hospitality was not offered on the pitch. Morris was the beneficiary of another Oure corner, latching on to a loose ball to nod home in the fifth minute – clearly, the extra training sessions dedicated to attacking set pieces were having their desired effect. Nicky Wroe (a former Bury loanee in 2006/2007) made Curzon’s task all the more difficult with a red card for a two-footed lunge. Oure and Morris combined once more for the former to volley in a second after a headed one-two. Four clean sheets in a row!

Spennymoor Town (a) – 1-3

Very little in the way of noteworthy action at either end in the opening 45. The encounter exploded into life when Oure was brought down by Stephen Brogan inside the area 10 minutes after the restart, and Morris made the most of the resultant spot-kick, tucking in his third of the nascent campaign. Spennymoor had several half-chances to level things up before right-back Ify Ofoegbu hit the woodwork. Lewis Landers was finally beaten in the 85th minute, courtesy of a wonder strike from 20 yards by Max Anderson. Brogan made amends for giving away the penalty by giving the hosts the lead in injury time, which was further cemented with the last kick of the game by Andrew Johnson.

Kidderminster Harriers (h) – 0-1

Fellow play-off hopefuls Kidderminster won a penalty after a needless push by Ross Woodcock from a free-kick, which Noah Chilvers duly dispatched. The youngster could’ve put the game beyond doubt in the second period but fluffed his lines. Nevertheless, it was a powder-puff performance that left with some concerns.

Farsley Celtic (a) – 1-1

Tom Heardman never kicked a meaningful ball in anger for Bury during his loan spell from Newcastle United in 2017/2018, returning to his parent club even before August was out. On this game however, he proved to be a thorn, just about staying onside to arc a shot into the far corner for Farsley. Skipper Winner Luabu sent a rocket against the bar as the Shakers piled forward in search of an equaliser. In the 86th minute, it arrived; Alfie Raw stole possession deep in the West Yorkshire outfit’s half, squaring it for Joe Thompson to stroke home. Dylon Meredith immediately killed any prospect of finding a winner with a horror tackle, receiving his marching orders as the game petered out.

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9th place and a steady start…

Can the new Shakers build on their upper mid-table position in September? Find out on Thursday…

This way to Part 3…

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