Buryball, Chapter 9: Stumbling and Mumbling

“Buryball? Eh?” Confused? Read Chapter 0 for a short precis.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8


Ah, a C+ from the board. Again. Hello darkness, my old friend…

(1885 Bury score first):

Kettering Town (a): 0-0

Narrator: ‘Absolutely nothing happened.’

The temerity! 16/1 to be sacked next!

AFC Telford United (a): 0-1

Not quite the same dirge on show in Shropshire. The hosts took the lead on the half-hour mark, Alex Petrovics blasting home from near the penalty spot. Aaron Williams was then dismissed for Telford with just 10 minutes remaining, prompting an all-out assault on their goalmouth… but without reward.

Hereford (h): 1-3

Gibraltarian international Alex Gosling rifled in from an early free-kick, which was the instigator for a flurry of attacks on the Bulls’ own goal. Stephen Dawson, famously formerly of Bury twice, believed he’d grabbed a second, but it was disallowed. Unfortunately, Hereford have their own version of James Morris – Kelsey Mooney increased their lead with his 22nd of the campaign. Denilson Carvalho got one back on the break, but Reece Styche made sure of victory with a simple finish from a Dawson cross (!).

26 shots, 14 on target… lose 3-1… *Sigh*

Leamington (h): 1-0

A much-need victory. The same shot dominance as the previous fixture, but without the poor goals given up so easily. Morris found form once more, bundling in from a Carvalho free-kick. Ross Woodcock, playing on the right side of defence for a change, was sent off for a second bookable offence in injury time, but it didn’t cost the Shakers too dearly.

Kidderminster Harriers have run away with the title. Still on course for a play-off spot…

Altrincham (a): 2-2

In true FM-style, a previously goal-shy striker scores against the side you manage. Lewis Archer had gone 15 miserable games for Altrincham without joy, but found it in just the fourth minute against 1885 Bury, heading home from a right-wing cross. Dylon Meredith replied with an absolute howitzer from the corner of the box. A superb passage of play with interchanging passes between the attack-minded four ended with Simeon Oure slotting home for a short-lived lead; naturally, Archer got his brace soon afterwards, rounding Lewis Landers to level things up.

Darlington (h): 1-2

Okera Simmonds punished Landers for mistiming rushing from his goalmouth by netting for fellow play-off contenders Darlington. Meredith was felled for a penalty in first half stoppage time, and Morris duly obliged, sending the ‘keeper the wrong way. Simmonds then made a mockery of the offside trap on the hour mark to restore the visitors’ advantage. Two games to go, and the play-off position is now looking precarious.

Bradford (Park Avenue) (h): 1-1

Winner Luaba was doing his level best to make his teammates with a truly bizarre own goal that I’ve had to upload and share with you, such is its insipidness. Thankfully, Ellis Hudson grabbed an equaliser with the last kick of the game to all but ensure participation in the play-offs, but with no real form to speak of.

Southport (a): 0-1

Oh dear. George Newell bundled in after three minutes, and the tired old refrain of huffing and puffing from early in the season is back with a bang/whimper (depending on your disposition). James Cook had a goal chalked off in injury time, which is also all too frequent. Something will have to change if promotion is to be gained…


Squeaked in…

On Friday, you’ll be able to find out just how the play-offs went in Chapter 10. York City will have to be overcome, and they’re just the first hurdle…